None of you will know of our real situation. We found out we were going to be parents just a few months after I started work. Before that I had been at uni. We had no savings but together we were bringing home £40k+. Well we could have. By the time I had reached my second trimester my partner got fired from his job and it’s been tits up since then. We are lucky enough to have supportive mothers. We are currently living with mine. We have my brother’s room, but he lives away from home so we have been told we can use it for our son. He is still currently in our room and we are living off less than £1k a month. The average cost of rent on a three bed house in the town I live in. Without bills.
But this isn’t about all that though you did have to know about it to understand why my wishes aren’t the typical ones about living in a mansion and having endless amount of money and designer gear pouring out of the boot of my brand spanking new car.
I know I won’t be getting it this year but it is my goal for next year.
All I want for Christmas is our own place. Yes I know I’m lucky I have a roof over my head full stop. But it is hard to have three adults living in one house. There is the constant argument of we have been at my mum’s house for so long can we go back to live with his for a while. I get it you are more comfortable living with what you know and even though both mums are great they do have traits that we would rather not have to live with everyday. It is also difficult to have two adults, a baby and a puppy in one room. See the puppy spends nights in his crate because he cannot be trusted to be unsupervised in the house and I don’t want to be spending my nights fighting for space with him. He’s big enough. We do have the spare room for our use but mum wants to keep my brother’s bed in there and our fridge and freezer are up there (we have our own because we could not fit all our food in along with my mum’s stuff in one fridge freezer, so my partner and I have his aunt’s old one). There’s also a bunch of other stuff we need to clear out of there but have no room for anywhere else in the house but can’t throw them. So you see our problem.
We have tried going to the council to see what help we can get but you get placed in a B&B somewhere in the UK and spend your days hoping that they will be able to house you. It’s not great. Especially when I will have to go back to work at some point and can’t be commuting far and trying to find childcare would be made even harder.
I don’t want anywhere magical. Just somewhere with two bedrooms. A lounge with enough space for a sofa and table to fit the three of us round at dinner time. Somewhere we can put up our Christmas tree that we decorated together. A place I can decorate to look like our own little Lapland (I’m a Christmas lover, in case you couldn’t tell). Our own little sanctuary we can retire to when we have had a long day. Where no one will come barging in to our room screaming at us because they are in a bad mood. When you aren’t treated like a child. Or acting like a child (why is it we can snap back to our teenage selves when we have been around our parents or childhood setting for too long?). I want a place where we can have friends round. Entertain people. Host dinners where the food is just bigger portions of recipes I’ve practiced over the years.
This generation has it hard. It is too expensive to live like a normal adult on an average wage. But you can’t wait too long otherwise you are the weirdo that has to introduce their one night stand to their parents or you get told your eggs will turn to dust if you wait too long to have a child. Minimum wage is not enough to live off but you get no help because you have a wage.
I don’t know what next year holds for us but I do know that I’m going to try my hardest to get us into our own place. To give my son his own room. To know that if we wanted another child in the future we have the space and the money to support ourselves. To have somewhere that we have privacy.
We will have our own little Lapland next year. We will. I hope…