Keeping the secret

Okay so I didn’t keep it a secret for much longer… but I was at work and wasn’t sure if I was allowed to take part in a task. Let’s just say I work in a hospital and I had to go with someone to an MRI machine and I didn’t know whether or not I could go or if I needed to take precautions. I was having my lunch break with a friend and I was pondering it out loud when she twigged. Shock would be an understatement. She started giggling hysterically and was trying to dig for more information but there were other people in the room so there was only so much we could talk about. It wasn’t long before I had to confess to someone else. Morning sickness had taken hold and I needed to ask for help if I felt the urge to go run and throw up but was in the middle of something that couldn’t wait. I also ended up having to tell my manager as I threw up within the fast half hour of work and got sent home and needed to do a back to work interview with her. She took me to a quiet room and she gave me all the information I needed, I was dreading having to tell her but she has a calming presence about her so it made me feel better. I was 7 weeks and this not telling people hadn’t gone so well… After a lot of debating we eventually decided to tell our parents and his siblings. I was 10 weeks gone and it was mothers day so we decided it would be a good time. We got both our mothers a dummy and a toddlers spoon and put it in a bag for them to open. In his mothers card we also wrote a little poem. Safe to say they were all pretty shocked and some tears were shed. My mum was off to see my brother that day and as soon as she was back she came round to my partners mums house and they started calling each other nanny and had an excitable discussion about babies. Two weeks left until my scan surely I had no one else to tell right? Wrong. I was asked to help out with a portable x-ray but I knew from the discussion with my manager I needed to stay away so I had to call on the help of a colleague. I was determined to keep it a secret until after the first scan but sometimes life gets in the way. Pregnancy can be tough, especially when you are experiencing a host of symptoms or having to remember that there a certain things you aren’t allowed to do that you didn’t have to think twice about making your life a little more complicated. So note to future self: it’s okay to want to keep it a secret, I get it, you don’t want to have to tell people upsetting news is something happens after you’ve shared with them the happiest and most exciting thing that has ever happened to you but don’t feel like every time you tell someone you are jinxing it!

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